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Friday, February 4, 2011

Rear-View Mirror


"One day this week when I was having a horrible no good very bad day (Monday) Bethany wanted to read me Proverbs 31. I passed. Daniel wanted to read me Lamentations. I almost took him up on it!"

So, walk with me. With my hopes set higher than you can imagine I began the week in school. We dove headlong into math. However, right behind the math book was the transluscent mile-high will of a 10 year-old girl in response to the reality that she would not, after all, get to spend the entire morning, stretched out in comfort of her own bed with the Princess and the Pea mile-high mattress, reading. My very own offspring! The apple that didn't fall far from her father's tree (and I chuckle, of course!). A daughter with an iron-clad will. While I know it will serve her well throughout her life, it IS a force to be reckoned with, and wreck, we did! (Why is it that some days resistance feels like failure? What a tricky disguise!)

After I took my heap of a body and threw it on my bed and boo-hooed (not proud of it, but it's true), I called my sweet heart, the one who just'd traveled cross-country to Georgia to paint, vacuum, fix windows, and work with sheet rock on a rental. Oh, and I'll spare the details but suffice it to say, he was overjoyed. Not really. "How hard can it be?" he asked. Worse than hard. Try near impossible. With my head in my hands, truly, and in tears but able to text friends for prayer, wisdom came knocking at the bedroom door. "Mom, we didn't start our day in the Word and in prayer." Oh. She's done it again. I can't tell you how many times I've been flattened by the wisdom of these innocent children of mine. Lord, don't you know how humbling this is? Again? I righted my ship and went out to the living room, except that now it's ME in a bit of a sulk. My children go for their Bibles. I have mine, and we proceed to Scene 2: (see my quote at the top of the page.)

Tonight, when I was replying to Gina, of Journaling Gina, I kind of replayed the scene from Monday in my mind's eye. Gina was writing about Proverbs 31, and I couldn't help but recall the lack of desire I had to read that passage. Bethany had suggested it as a way to get us back on course. I just wasn't up for it. Oh, there are times when the Word is almost like rocks in my shoe, or fingers on the chalkboard of my own weak soul, or...the faithful wounds of truth spoken from my own child, perhaps. I am learning. Ever learning. I am humbled. I look back in the rear-view mirror of this week now, and I am thankful that Christ has not left me to myself. His mercies are new every morning. He sees me as what I'll become though He sees right through who I am in my worst of moments. Proverbs 31? In His time. In His time.

4 comments:

Dan said...

Thank you for sugar coating our conversation so well.

I love you and you're doing a great job. I'm pround.

Kathy said...

Thank-you, Sweetie. Now, come home so you can add your hug along to your words! : ) We miss you terribly.

Mary Lee said...

And for all the above reasons; a math page will get done today!

Susan said...

All I can say is "Ahhhhhhh & I love you and yours so."