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Friday, March 25, 2011

Tug of War

There's a little tug of war that goes on in me almost non-stop. One moment I'm tugged like this, "You can do it. That work book on planets is really interesting. Just pick it up, divide the number of lessons out at two per week, and just begin. The children will like it. It's okay if it's not in the curriculum you bought this year. Use what you have." Then the other side gives it a yank, "You've wasted so much time. Start fresh in the Fall. Maybe you'll really know what you want to do by then. Maybe you'll have it all mapped out. Maybe you'll have it all together." Yielding to that particular side I can tell you that maybe will never come, and then more time gets wasted because I didn't pick up that book and just get after it.

Then there's the whole topic of purchased, but un-used or partially used curriculum. I wonder how long I could go and actually use what I have; no, not the stuff that really won't work, but the ones I've started and haven't finished. Then to add to the dilemma, I do more curriculum research and find another kind of curriculum or approach to lesson plans (which has happened in the last 48 hours) that I love. Impressive, huh.

Part of this can be explained by my new found love for learning. I am enjoying exploring what is out there. I am so thrilled that we have this great opportunity and calling to homeschool. Danny and I have even joked that someday I may just do something in the world of homeschooling consulting once my own are grown. But what about the balance? There has to be a balance found between the time spent "looking" and researching, and really getting down to the nitty-gritty, hard-core part of teaching. The greatest satisfaction is sure to come by applying consistency and commitment to teaching. I can trust God for the results.

Lord, help me to seek your face as wife and mother, instructor and mentor. I love this beautiful world of homeschooling. I love the many ways learning happens. I love the varied approaches of Classical, Charlotte Mason, Eclectic, and the like. Please teach and instruct me, your student Kathy, in how I can be a better manager of the many resources at my fingertips here in my own home. I also ask that You help me redeem any hours that I have wasted. You blessed me with two precious jewels, and I want nothing more than to please You.


Susan said...

Although certainly not homeschooling I find myself in the same situation with so many responsibilities, desires, wants, duties, joys etc. Life is certainly and always a working our way through the maze of "things" and "issues". May the Lord lead us both. May we truly hear HIS still small voice.

Kathy said...

Yes, Susan, may He lead us, show us where to turn, and to what we should put our hands and giftings. You are so loved. Please blog some more. I miss it.