I was made for Worship. I know it. I started playing piano at the wee age of 4 when we got an old upright. I remember its very place against the inside wall in our living room. I started out playing by ear, and it's not as painful as all the jokesters make it out to be. Yes, I've heard every joke out there about playing by ear. When it came to a song, if I heard it, I could play it. Of course with my raising that meant a lot of hymns which I still love today. And if it wasn't a hymn I'd make it sound like one because that's what I knew. I still cherish the hymns and include them regularly within the context of our own worship services. I am thankful for writers and worship leaders such as Fernando Ortega, and Keith and Kristyn Getty who re-release old hymns and write new hymn-like worship songs-often introducing the beauty and theology of the hymns to many for the first time.
When I look back on my life I feel like David the shepherd boy, except that I am Kathy, the little Montana schoolgirl/shepherdess in training. I feel like David because all the while, God was preparing me for worship: the playing, singing, writing and leading of worship. I could talk about the divine intervention of God in the area of worship: a lady in our church who insisted on teaching me piano at no charge my Junior and Senior year in highschool. What about the years of college instruction by the most sought after professor in the entire School of Music.
Music comes naturally to me. Sitting at a piano and playing is similar to breathing. It's that much a part of me, and that easy for me. When I sit at a keyboard and play to the Lord, I might as well be breathing. Am I an expert? NO! But I know I was made for worship. And as for the breathing, I think I've been walking around holding my breath.
We don't live long without breathing as it's clearly known. Over the years I've taken big deep breaths during times when ordinarily the wind would be knocked out of me if you can follow the analogy. I ran to Jesus and then we ran together. The greatest hardships in life were when a new sweet fragrance would be released. Disappointment, death, divorce. I've experienced a lot, but as I said yes to the God of Sovereignty, and yes to the sovereignty of God, I have felt the faithful companionship of the Holy Spirit. I learned that God has the last word over every circumstance in life, and little did I know He was creating a costly perfume in me unlike no other. I say that because that's how God is. He's doing the same in you. Your fragrance before God is like no one else's.
The good news is I'm breathing again! Did you know it's possible to function in a gift and calling, but not flow in it? I lead worship every week at our local church of Jesus followers, and I love it. I'm not saying I've been a phony week after week as I lead because I haven't. God is more than faithful to pour out His presence in those times. But I found that I had stopped enjoying and flowing in my calling as a worshipper in my home. The sign was on the door- Secret Place, I would see it, but I didn't spend much time there with my precious Father. I was having a hard time adjusting to a secret place with windows...children, husband, etc. While I'm not there 24/7 because duty simply calls, I am finding myself there more often. In the busyness of life and doing wonderful Mom and wife things, I am learning there may be nothing better I could do for my family than release the fragrance of true worship in the walls of our home. I could see it last night as son and husband were clearing the table and cleaning the kitchen, and I sat and played and sang....and worshipped. It's a ministry to God and to my family. The stirring of that God-given gift is rising again, and I live for the next time I am with Him for a precious time to sing what I think He likes.